I cannot believe I am saying this because it almost scares me; but I am ready, no scratch that I want more! God only knows how long I have been waiting and wanting more. I just do not know but Lord you know my dreams, my desires, and you know Lord my heartache and the tears I have cried. Only you God.
I am ready to enter my season. I am ready and scared as heck to begin but if there is only thing I learned from the rose bushes at abuelita’s (means grandma), and all the places where you have allowed me to garden; is that certain things have to die off. I love every experience I have had, the good the and the bad because it has made me the woman I am today. I have no regrets. All of it has prepared me for this moment and I am aware of that even as I write this.
I love my life especially since I dedicated my life to Christ 25 years ago; God has been with me! I cannot begin to tell you how I see God in my life even before I knew Him and I am sold out to Jesus even on my crappiest day. So, at 41 entering this new season, I want more! More of God, more life, more fun, more love, more truth. And like to stop me from my plans stuff from my past has come up and things in my present got worse and I am like yeah Jesus Got me because you know what we are ready for more. I am still stepping out in FAITH!. Still telling my story how God saved me at 14, and my life is a miracle and I have other stories. I am keeping it real because people do not need fake and I do not need fake. I do not want a fake God or a fake life. So, I am sharing with you what feels like my private bedroom because it is real. What I learned in gardening is that you have to prune the flowers or whatever it is because if not they will not grow and sometimes they will not ever produce new blossoms. No matter how much water! I think sometimes we give too much of ourselves to things and we forget to ask is this really good for me? Or, do I really want this? Sometimes some things need to be cut off so new life can grow.
Lord, this my hearts desire five years since we released the anchor…