Valor – Courage

I know a lot of you probably saw the new wonder woman and remember that awesome feeling of coming out the theatre empowered ready to take on the world. Well,
That is me after morning coffee and my devotional most days. Nah, in my dreams more like it. I do have that feeling when I push through the scarest times and am obedient to God. People do not Get but obeying God is when I am happiest.
But before that was a little girl who liked to pretend to be Wonder Woman in her rollers around her wrist back in the day with Lynda Carter. Now many who really know me know that I have lost everything and all I really care about losing is my relationship with the Lord. If I lose that cannot exist I would die… Since I can remember people call me courageous they say in Spanish that, I am a woman of valor so the word lately or more like this year when I had no choice in my opinion. When friends die, or students get locked up, getting accused of shit you didn’t do that could risk you everything you ever worked for, when you realize there is nothing more you can do about another relationship, when you lose another friend, when there goes another loss of and the list goes on and on…

So to you, this feels like a loss, after a loss, heart-wrenching stabbing, and just arghhh heartache to say the least. But those looking at you that you share in your comfort are talking to you about how fucking courageous you are meanwhile you just cried your eyes out in the car! Asking God how are you anything close to a virtuous woman, who plans and prepares? Wondering if you are forgotten this year by God because it feels like you hit a dead end. Yet, there is something to wearing my heart on my sleeve although everyone or almost everyone says to be tough! WTF! YOu are you got up and you have not given up?! I am trying to find my real life balance of Princess Diana and WonderWoman because all I know how to be is WonderYANA all the time like or not! And I know there are many of you reading this who understand that we struggle with illness, loss, anxiety, depression and so much more… So, keep on doing and find your meaning and balance. And like my recent inspiration before you keep putting yourself down and saying you need new meds maybe its the people around you? Maybe you need positive voices to change 2018 and this moment because you are your own hero that is what made wonder woman such a big deal now you go forth and be and be athat kick ass warrior you need!!! What are you waiting for you have the power!!!

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